This is one of the most common questions I am asked by clients. More often than not, we as humans do not go into a relationship with the instruments required to overcome the challenges of relationships, this is where professionals like myself come in. With my assistance I will help you and/or your partner learn new ways of connecting to one another.
So to answer the common question: When is it time to seek relationship or marriage counseling? I have compiled a list of actions and behaviors that are signs you, your partner or both of you may need help.
1. Living separate lives: Do you feel like you and your significant other are more like roommates then lovers? If so, this may indicate a need for counseling. Just because you do not do everything together does not mean the relationship is in trouble. On the other hand, if a lack of communication or intimacy exists, this may be an indication that it is time to bring in a licensed therapist to get to the bottom of what is missing from your relationship and how to save it.
2. Arguments about the same thing: Every person has different triggers that bother them, but would not trouble the average person. This can include things like, not picking up after oneself, eating habits, always being late to events or even something as silly as not taking out the garbage. The other person in the relationship repeatedly does not comprehend why these arguments frequently occur and what he/she can do to fix it. A counselor can assist the couple in working through these issues and get to the root of the problem.
3. Lack of affection: If one partner is giving more affection than the other and the unaffectionate partner cannot get back to his/her old ways.
4. Little to no communication: To be candid, most relationship problems are just challenges in communication. A therapist can help assist in seeking new behaviors in communicating with one another.
5. Only negative communication: Negative communication, as I like to call mean talk, can include anything that leaves one partner feeling insecure, hurt, shamed, humiliated, disregarded, or disgraced. Mean talk also includes the nature of conversation.
6. Treating your partner as a rival: You and your partner should be on the same team you are not adversaries. If more frequently than not you are on different sides of the fence, then it’s time to see a therapist.
7. Having an affair.
8. When you are constantly trying to change habits or things about your partner: If you are waiting for your partner to change, you are going to be waiting a very long time. The only person you can change is yourself. When it comes to this, I highly recommend hiring a therapist to assist you in better understanding yourself.
If you or your significant other is struggling with lack of communication, constant arguments, lack of intimacy, lack of trust or just plain old boredom give us a call at 801-447-2666 or schedule a free consultation today. Contact us today.